It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
