you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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