When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
