when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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