think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
