His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize