We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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