I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
