You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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