It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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