i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
