lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My nipple is on Facebook.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
