he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
where are you?
Hypothermia
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
