i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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