Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
