I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
