I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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