Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
