the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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