Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
