mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
