If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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