dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize