just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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