he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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