This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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