The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
