I'm gonna have a badass scar
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
