Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
