Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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