I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
