so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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