he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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