youre lurking in front of me
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
