dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
