Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
