well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
