Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize