You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
another moral hangover. fuck.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
