Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
