Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
