there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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