I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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