Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
