Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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