Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
