ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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