I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize