Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
