If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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