It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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