you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
