I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Even my vagina gasped.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
