Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
