sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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