Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
smell my finger.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
