I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
