Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize