Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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