i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
